So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize