Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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