no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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