I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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