so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
