So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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