How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
