Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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