Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
