I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize