Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
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stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
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I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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