SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Rumble strips road head = magical
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
