capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone