I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches