You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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