He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
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