i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
