On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
