maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
