Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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