honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i think i scared a bird with my dick
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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