its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
