I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just gift wrapped bread.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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