we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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