there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
