Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
