Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just googled if crying burns calories
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
