Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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