if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize