I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
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