GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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