i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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