i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize