Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
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She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
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Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize