I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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