I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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