porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
