Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
