Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
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I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
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I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday