i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
are you so shy because you have an std?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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