dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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