She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
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You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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