Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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