You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
