walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
