The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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