miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
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I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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