i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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