i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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