no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
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On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
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I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
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