I hate your face
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
